Truth Is The Only Safe Ground To Stand On
by WriterOfEvil
Summary: <html><head></head>He was watching her... Now Obi-Wan is ready to make his move. His target? A young Sith Apprentice. Stolen away from her 'World' she is left alone with only him as her constant companion. What good will come of this mixup? And what has love got to do with?</html>
1. Blue Eyes

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. I wish I owned Obi-Wan and I certainly loved if he was real and lived with me in my house!**

**Chapter 01**

_Blue Eyes_

_You smelled like the strange mixture you get, when the sun has been beaten down on your skin the entire day. _  
><em>It wasn't sweat, but it wasn't far off either. <em>  
><em>If I had to describe it I would say it smelled like a tiny layer of salt, mixed with the sun. <em>  
><em>I admit it didn't smell unpleasant.<em>  
><em>Strange and exotic, were the words I would have picked out for it. Weird I know, but that's what it was to me. <em>  
><em>I wasn't familiar with this kind of scent. It frightened me, yet at the same time appealed to me. Caught my attention.<em>  
><em>There was something else, something I would later recognize as desert sand. <em>  
><em>How that smells? I'm not sure how to describe it. <em>  
><em>But whenever I smell it now I'm carried back to those days, way back to when it all began.<em>

I'm making no sense am I?  
>First of all the name is Valerie, Valerie Torchwood. I'm from Tynaa, which lays Southeast from the Expansion Region.<br>Very closely to the border of the Inner Rim, just below Corellian Run.  
>It's pretty cool there, our planet is rich on commodities, and nature.<br>Which includes large green forests and beautiful lakes.  
>I especially enjoy all the green vegetation.<br>The variety of colors, the way the sun makes everything grow and blossom.  
>Each plant in its own magnificent way.<br>Especially when after a rain shower the whole world felt as new.  
>The smell of moist dirt, the way the birds were celebrating, the whole planet just seemed to come alive right before your every ears and eyes.<p>

So that's where I come from, a world full of life and colors. Funny, that I'm not so colorful myself. Black and red are mostly to be found in my wardrobe, except when I go out into the really world and try to blend in. Just like on the day you took me. Stole me from my company.

I was 18, almost a Sith Lord. I felt like it couldn't be long now, before I would surpass my Master and had to kill him.  
>I know it sounds strange, but that's the way how things are done with us.<br>We're trained our entire lives, by our Sith Master. And to become a Master ourselves, we need to kill our own first.  
>Not much of a life style ey? I agree with you on that.<br>I'm not sure if I would ever take on an apprentice myself knowing that.

I'm not sure what the date was, not that it matters now.  
>I only know that I was with my Master Darth Shindulos, riding on one of those city transporters.<br>You know the ones, those large vessels that transport people from one place to another.  
>And I was there with my Master, who was currently not speaking to me.<br>He hated it being among people, to pretend to be someone he was not. And to make matters worse we could run into some Jedi along the way.  
>So we were forced to keep the Force bottled up inside of us, or else they might noticed who we truly were.<p>

The room we were currently residing in was full of people, young and old, and all were making too much noise if you asked me.  
>My Sith Master sat at the far back of the room, his face down, his body sloughed sideways against the window.<br>It looked almost like he was sleeping, but I knew better. He only sat like that to not draw attention to himself.  
>I sat next to kim, watching the room like a hawk, ready to bolt at any given moment.<br>All the faces looked the same to me, all consumed in their own little world.  
>No one noticed us, gave us but the slightest attention.<br>At least that was what I believed, though that all changed as soon as my eyes met yours.

The bluest blue eyes I had ever come across.  
>For a moment you held my gaze and I couldn't help but wonder if I knew from somewhere.<br>There was something familiar about you, and yet at the same time I had not seen you before, I was sure of that.  
>Then you turned away, and went back to gazing out the window.<br>You were beautiful in my eyes. Your brown hair, got a golden glow to it whenever we past a distant sun.  
>Even as the tiny beard that rested on your chin.<br>You looked wise for your age, perhaps too wise.  
>But that only caught my interest more.<p>

You looked back at me and I had to avert my eyes to keep from blushing.  
>The fact that you had caught me peeking at you made me feel embarrassed.<br>Next to me I felt my Master getting annoyed at me, after all these years I sometimes still felt human.  
>At least my emotions sometimes did, so I decided it best to get up and leave for a moment.<br>And come back when I was in control again.

I didn't see you follow me , didn't sense you, until you suddenly stood behind me in line to get some coffee.  
>You stood so close that I could feel the heat radiate off your body, and I wondered how I could not have sensed you at all before.<br>While right now you were all I could focus on.  
>A sudden touch from you on my shoulder, made me shiver and my skin felt as if burned when it was no longer on me.<p>

Before I dared turn towards you, I took a deep breath, trying to steady the nerves that were wrecking havoc inside my stomach.  
>I still wasn't ready for what I saw, not for the words you spoke to me, not even close.<p>

"I believe it's your turn" your deep masculine voice rumbled.  
>It was as if you were trying your voice for the first time in quite some time, and you weren't sure how it would come out.<br>Nevertheless I got your message which was laced with humor around the edges.

Looking to my left I suddenly noticed that it was indeed my turn, how long had I been standing here looking silly?  
>You smiled coyly at me for a second, before turning your face away.<br>Your reaction made me smile.  
>I wasn't aware of the fact that I held the power to get someone to react that way, let alone you.<br>It boosted my confidence a little before I finally got around to ordering my coffee.

I took a place near one of the windows on the right hand side, right next to a poster of the Republic saying:  
><em>"Thinking about your future? Maybe becoming a Jedi is something for you"<br>_As soon as I was done with scanning the poster I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

The sound of you coughing brought me back to reality.  
><em>"I take it you're not a big fan of the Republic"<em>you joked, before you sat down on the other side of my table.  
>I knew you were trying to break the ice between us, but the way you suddenly had appeared next to my table<br>had caught me off guard and made it impossible for me to answer you back.

You didn't give up though, you simply gave me one of your heart warming smiles, before trying again.  
><em>"Neither am I"<em>

This time I did react.

_"Neither do you what?"_I countered slightly curious.

Before answering me, you took a zip from your coffee, leaving me hanging, craving for your answer.  
><em>"Oh, I always find these posters a bit tacky."<em>  
>Your reaction made me smile, because that was exactly how I thought about them.<br>It was in that moment we seemed to realize we shared an opinion.

I think that was what made you decide...  
>Set everything in motion...<p> 


	2. Observation is the key

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. If I did I wouldn't make up a handsome guy like Obi-Wan and leave him dangling in front of hundreds of fans. Nope, I would keep him locked up in my basement!

Authors note: I know it's written differently than most stories. It's kind of a letter Valerie writes to Obi-Wan after many years. 

**Chapter 02  
><strong>Observation is the key

While reaching out for something behind me, you accidentally bumped into the table, sending both our coffees flying across the room.  
>In the chaos of what followed, you stuttered and stumbled an apologize, which made me like you even more.<br>It was strange, for you didn't seem like a shy guy to me. Perhaps that was why I liked you, why you stood out so much.  
>I wanted to know who you were, what made you tick.<br>That last part was foreign to me, it had been a long time since I had felt any kind of attraction to a person.  
>And even if the idea ever arose in my mind, it was my Master that would keep me as far away from it as possible.<br>Love was in his eyes, equal to poison.

Was it love that I felt for you?  
>Nah<br>It felt more like a mix of attraction and admiration.

_"I'm sorry. I'm such a klutz, Wait here I'll get us another coffee" you said _and with that you left me alone at the table.  
>I couldn't help but follow you with my eyes as you strode across the room and ordered us another drink.<br>It was in that moment that I wondered how old you were.  
>At first I had thought you might be around my age, but when I saw you strutting around the room that presumption started to waver.<br>You seemed perfectly in control, not at all like the man whom I had just witnessed.

Strange!

If only I had looked harder, if only I hadn't been so blind. Perhaps I could have prevented things from going any further.  
>But I was far more interested with the fact that you were actually sitting with me, instead of someone else.<p>

You clearly had grown into your body. Your shirt hugged your chest showing me a well toned body.  
>A pair of broad shoulders made you appear even more intimidating. I realized you were way stronger than me.<br>Still I felt safe because of my 'powers'  
>You knew of them didn't you? You knew that you were stronger than me. And far more advanced with the Force then I was.<br>I didn't stand a chance.  
>But I had my Master. If I needed help he would come running.<p>

I blushed as your eyes met mine, you had caught me checking you out.

I guess that's when you did it.  
>Perhaps you slipped it in at that moment. The drug which gave you the opportunity to kidnap me.<br>When you went to get coffee and I was distracted with thoughts of you. Honestly if I knew, if only I could have guessed what you had been planning, then perhaps...?

I'm not sure what I would have done. Maybe I would have gone with you...  
>Possibly not.<br>I'm tempted to say I left you in that moment and went back to my Master. That we just parted ways and never had spoken again.  
>You would just be another distant memory.<br>A good one nonetheless.

But nothing like that happened. I'm still not sure what you saw in me. A Sith Apprentice, almost ready to become a Master.  
>What did you see?<br>I was tainted with evil. Filled to the brim with bad ideas.  
>To sum it all up: Not worthy.<br>And still that didn't stop you from taking me away.

A loud thud made me look up, to find you placing two new steaming cups of coffee down on 'our' table.  
>Mmmh, that thought sounded weird, since when was this our table? I watched as you sat down and pushed one of the cups towards me.<br>The plastic made a crinkling sound as you released it.  
>I figured you would pull back your hand, but you didn't you kept it there a little while longer.<br>I couldn't help but notice the many scares that lined your lower arm, something which as soon as you caught me watching,  
>instantly covered up. You seemed to be ashamed of them, that crazy thought made my heart warm up to you even more.<br>And I decided you show you mine.  
>If only I hadn't been so busy with you, if only I would have noticed that our scares looked almost identical.<br>All fabricated by the same weapon.  
>A lightsaber.<p>

I could have prevented it all...


	3. Destination Known

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars. If I did I wouldn't make up a handsome guy like Obi-Wan and leave him dangling in front of hundreds of fans. Nope, I would keep him locked up in my basement!

Authors note: I know it's written differently than most stories. It's kind of a letter Valerie writes to Obi-Wan after many years. Tell me what you think of it so far, yes! eventhough nothing remotely interesting has happened yet. ^_^

**Chapter 03**  
><span>Destination Known<span>

_"What are you thinking?"_  
>You asked me as you took a zip from your coffee.<br>All the while your blue eyes stared right back at me, with an intensity I had never seen before.  
>At least not directed to me.<br>_  
>"About the reason why you're sitting here with me"<br>_I answered honestly. An answer which visibly caught you by surprise.

_"And what did you come up with?" _you countered.  
>The smirk which was plastered on your face even managed to made me happy.<br>I looked at you in the moment, trying to take in the contours of your face.  
>You truly were beautiful in my eyes, a straight nose set in rugged face, strong cheekbones, a long forehead and friendly eyes.<br>All in all I had to conclude that you seemed uniquely interested in what I had to say.

_"Either you want something from me, which I have no idea of what that something might be."  
>"Or your lonely and in need of a friend"<br>_My answer seemed to surprise you yet again, for your eyebrows shot up and your normally so clear gaze, slowly seemed glazed over.  
>What had you thought I was thinking?<br>What had you expected me to answer?  
>You seemed distant for a moment, as if contemplating my answer.<p>

Then suddenly out of nowhere you started to smile. A smile that somehow managed to make you looked even more handsome.  
>Where you happy with my answer?<br>Your silence made me nervous, yet your smile dared to give me a little hope, that in fact you had liked the answer I had given you.  
>To keep myself from staring at you, I decided to take a zip from my coffee.<br>Instantly I felt better as the hot liquid burned itself a way down my throat.

_"That was unexpected"_ you muttered.  
>I'm not sure if I was meant to hear that, but I had anyhow.<br>And for the first time both our eyes were locked together, staring deep into each others 'souls'  
>I guess I could call it that, 'souls' People often say that the eyes as the window to ones soul.<br>I wonder what you saw in mine?  
>I wonder how my soul looked from your eyes.<br>Was it worth saving?

Deep blue eyes, with little flecks of grey splattered through them.  
>I realized in that moment that you eyes were actually grey blue, instead of blue.<br>I liked it better. It soothed you.  
>I watched as you studied me also.<br>Somehow neither of us felt uncomfortable with the other checking them out.

I had decided to tuck away any uneasiness I still felt in the pit of my stomach.  
>I wasn't going to show any of it to you. I would prove to you that I wasn't a little girl anymore. That I was mature enough to be with someone like you.<br>A smile broke through on your face, as if you knew what I was doing.  
>But before I could start to feel uneasy you did something I did not expect.<p>

_"I'm Ben"  
><em>You suddenly leaned forward, offering me your hand.  
>Almost automatically I took hold of it, feeling how small my hand was compared to yours.<br>A pleasant warmth spread from my fingertips , through my hand and up my wrist.  
>It felt good.<p>

_"Valerie"_ I answer a tad too late.  
>But I guess you knew that didn't you.<p>

_"Nice to meet you Valerie"  
><em>Another smile broke through on your face, you smiled a lot in the beginning.  
>Probably trying to make me feel at ease with you.<br>I have to say it worked.

I just loved to way it made you look, for just a moment you seemed totally carefree and happy.  
>Then you face once again became serious and the light in your eyes died.<br>My eyes drifted from you towards the clock on the wall, only to find out that there was still three hours of traveling to pass.  
>My Master would expect me to be back yet, or would he?<br>Where was he anyway?  
>Perhaps I should go and find him.<p>

It was like you read my thoughts, for instantly you started up a conversation.  
><em>"Are you here with your mom and dad?"<em>  
>I shook my head.<p>

_"Nope, just my dad."  
><em>I was way easier to call my Master, my Father.  
>Telling Ben the truth would only raise more questions. So I left it like that.<p>

_"And what might be your final destination?"  
><em>I watched your lips curled themselves around the edge of the plastic cup, and you took another zip from your coffee.

I should have told you. I wasn't allowed to.  
>But I did.<br>_"Iktotch"_

I saw you thinking, drinking in this kind of information, like it was important or something.  
>I guess it was for you now knew how long you had till my Master would come back to find me.<br>You had to time it just right.

_"The Expansion Region"_ you countered.  
>I simply nodded.<br>_"Whatever_ are you trying to find there?" You questioned out loud.  
><em>"There is only rocks"<em>

I shrugged.  
>I had to agree with you on that.<br>Iktotch wasn't quite 'cozy' You see Iktotch was the third moon of Iktotchon. Which was located in the Expansion Region, between the Corellian Run and the Gamor Run.  
>It was well known for its many rocks and being very windy.<br>To be honest the sand- and gravel storms could be so heavy that they could severely damage anything that wasn't protected.  
>Not a cozy planet, or should I say 'moon' to be on.<p>

_"Where are you going then?"_ I asked before you could ask me anymore question I should not be answering.  
>Before you answer though, you took a zip from your coffee and motioned for me to do the same.<br>Looking down at the cup, I realized I had indeed been neglecting it.

And as I took a large gulp, you spoke the planets name, that would become my home for the next few years...  
><em>"Tatooine"<em>


	4. Stolen

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If only...

Authors note: I know it's written differently than most stories. It's kind of a letter Valerie writes to Obi-Wan after many years.

**Chapter 04****  
><strong>Stolen

_"Tatooine" _I echoed.  
>I didn't see what was so great about that planet either, but you seemed happier all of a sudden.<br>So I guess something had to be good about it, or else you wouldn't be smiling at me all of a sudden.

_"Ever been to Tatooine?"_ You questioned.  
>I shook my head, no I had never been there before.<br>_"Want to?"_  
>It was more a closed question than a open one.<br>The only answer possible: Yes.

So shrugged again, asking you what was to be expected of that planet.  
>You didn't answer my question, you simply smiled while your eyes got this dangerous glint to them.<br>Suddenly I felt nervous.  
><em>"You'll soon find out"<em>

Everything slowed down after that. It's funny you know how much damage a little powder can do. I never thought it would happen to me. Surely I'd heard about these girls getting drugged every now and then, but that I would be one of them?  
>Never.<br>Damn right Republic, so much for your stupid warning video's!  
>News flash, they don't work!<p>

I realized far too late what was happening, or else I could have fought off the effects of the drug by use of the force.  
><em>"Are you feeling alright?"<em> you asked, your face uniquely concerned.  
>I opened my mouth to tell you I was fine, but didn't understand what came out. I stumbled over my own words, unable to form a normal sentence. Let alone your name.<br>My tongue felt twice as thick as normal.  
>I tried to reach for the force inside of me, only to find it almost completely gone. When had that happened? How come I had not noticed the thick heavy fog setting in.<br>Clouding each and every one of my thoughts and actions.

I remember having to squint my eyes because of the bright lights of the halogen light bulbs overhead. They hurt my head and made it even worse for me to think straight.  
>Before I had time to panic you were at my side, pulling me onto my feet and against your warm body.<br>For some strange reason that didn't upset me, at least not in that moment. If you would have done it when I was 'sober' you probably wouldn't have gotten very far. I recall you spinning me into the opposite direction and pulling me close to yet again, only this time you slung your arm around my waist. Instantly warmth shot up through my body.  
>My head fell on your shoulder, your scent filling my nostrils.<br>You smelled like nothing I had ever encountered.  
>It made me jumpy but at the same time made me want to smell more of it.<p>

Were you actually taking me back to my Master? I wondered.  
>How were you going to explain what happened to me, my current condition.<br>The road we took was long, far longer than it took me to get here.  
>Perhaps I was imaging things but were you taking me somewhere else?<br>You pushed me against an aluminum wall, it steel of it cool against my back. I wasn't aware that I was hot, that my skin was burning. Was I getting sick?

_"Valarie, you have to listen to me ok. Listen very carefully"_ Your voice was like a beacon. Like a lighthouse to a boat. It called to me, called me out of the darkness that surrounded me.  
><em>"Everything is ok. You're ok. We're going home."<br>_I saw you making a couple of weird hand signals, your blue grey eyes intensely burning down into my own. As if trying to convince me of you words. It worked I guess, for after a few seconds the only thing I could remember was those exact same words.  
><em>"Everything is ok. You're ok. We're going home."<em>

After that we were on the move again.  
>We passed more cabins, faces blurring into one as we passed them quickly, not really paying attention.<br>I was running with you.  
>Home...<br>I hadn't been home in such a long time.  
>Not even sure I even remembered where home really was.<br>But I didn't care, you seemed to know.  
>I trusted you.<p>

My head was still swimming with incoherent thoughts, as we were crashing through a group of impatient looking people. I remember the yelled and disgusted looks they shot us as we pushed a way through them.  
>I remember a large hallway, even more people. Their arms and limbs becoming my own.<br>I guess I blacked out then, for the next thing I recalled was waking up in a handicapped bathroom.  
>Apparently I was getting undressed for my pants lay in a small heap at my feet.<br>You were there handing me a pair of white pants.  
>It's fabric felt light against my skin.<br>With that came a pair of dark brown leather boots, which fitted me perfectly.  
>How had you known which size I was?<br>On second thought, perhaps I didn't want to know the answer to that question.  
>On top of that you threw me a light brown inner shirt, which I just managed to catch without falling flat on my face.<br>Instantly when I had it on I was fusing with the high collar, I didn't like the way it felt.  
>I heard some rustling behind me,<br>almost instantly you were at my side, pulling my hands away from it.  
>Telling me to lift them up, only to have yet another piece of clothing being pulled over my head.<br>How much did you expect me to wear?  
>Then came something around my shoulders, something which seemed slightly familiar.<br>And last but not least you pulled out a sash which you tied around my waist.  
>While doing so you managed to pull me close to you, my hands grabbing at the robes you had on, so I could prevent myself from falling.<br>When had you changed your clothing?  
>And why was I slightly frightened by the sight of them?<br>There was something familiar about them, but thanks to the tricks you had been playing on me I wasn't sure what it was.  
>The only thing I did know was that I was in danger!<p>

Authors note: Tell me if you like it so far, and if you've got any good ideas on how the story should continue.  
>Like should she escape him or what ...?<p> 


	5. Jedi Knight

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If only...

Authors note: I know it's written differently than most stories. It's kind of a letter Valerie writes to Obi-Wan after many years.

**Chapter 05****  
><strong>Jedi Knight

"Valerie what's wrong? "

You asked me.  
>Maybe it was the look on my face that gave away what I felt. Or perhaps you had read my feeling while using the force, I don't know.<br>I couldn't answer you though, my tongue still felt too big for my mouth.  
>You took something out of your pocket, something shiny and beautiful.<br>_"For you"_ You whispered.  
>You pulled me close to you after that, your shoulder pressed against mine as you reached behind my neck. You could have easily turned me around, but somehow you had decided against it.<br>Knowing that your body close to mine would distract me from whatever it was your were hanging around my neck.

You kissed my forehead after you slipped the locket underneath my clothing, not even granting me another look at it.  
>I could still feel your lips lingering on top of my head when I awoke next time.<br>You were making me drink some water, slowly pouring the cool liquid down my throat while comforting me with your deep timber.  
>It was like I was your animal that needed to be tamed.<br>And speaking very gently at me helped you with that.

There was another transporter.  
>And I believe another, I'm not sure.<br>All in all it might just have been the same one.

I remember waking up at some time, wrapped up in your arms, my head resting on your shoulder.  
>It felt so good, so comfortable.<br>I realized this was the first time anyone had held me like that.  
>You seemed to be asleep too, or very good at pretending to be, for you were snoring loudly in my ear.<br>I guess that´s what woke me up in the first place.  
>Or perhaps the drugs were slowly working out.<br>It didn´t matter to me in that moment.

What mattered was that I missed someone important.  
>Someone who probably would be very upset with me, if he found me here lying around with some strange dude.<br>My Master.  
>I reached for the force so I could mentally talk to him, only to find that part completely blocked off.<br>I shook my head, this was odd.  
>I tried again...<br>And again,  
>And again...<br>Still no luck.  
>Panic and desperation slowly started to set in.<br>I was starting to lose it.  
>And that was something I should not do. For than I could definably not reach him.<br>Panic caused the force to block up, prevented you from thinking straight.  
>Could mean the difference between life and death.<p>

Surely that was happening now, I was too stressed out.  
>But that didn´t explain why I couldn´t feel it.<br>Normally, even if I was stressed out or panicking, I could still feel the Force buzzing around me like crazy.  
>But now I couldn´t.<br>I felt my stomach drop as realization hit me.  
>I couldn´t feel anything.<br>I was completely cut off...  
>My mouth went dry.<br>I was going to have a panic attack no doubt about it.  
>The room began to spin in front of my eyes, thank the Lord I was sitting down, or I would have fallen and probably bumped my head onto something.<br>Inside my chest my stomach was racing, beating way to fast, I was pretty sure my ribs would break any minute.  
>Sweat was pouring down my back, leaving my new clothes clinging uncomfortably against my skin.<br>My breath came out ragged, my limbs were trembling uncontrollably.  
>I felt lightheaded, nauseous, I...<p>

You woke up by me being sick in a nearby paper basket.  
>I shivered as I felt your hands upon my shoulders, their touch reminding me of you.<br>Of the real world.  
>Of what I missed...<p>

_"Valerie, what's wrong"_  
>I wondered how many times you were still going to ask me that question.<br>I was sick again.  
>How was I to me you understand what was wrong with me?<br>You were a normal human being.  
>How was I to explain to you what the Force was, and furthermore what if felt like to be without it.<br>No, that was impossible.

_"Valerie, can you hear me? Everything is ok!"  
>"Everything is ok!"<br>_Your voice didn't come out so friendly anymore, it sounded more like a demand.  
>And you were waving your hands again.<br>Like some kind of...?  
>Some kind of...?<p>

What was the word. I lay on the tip of my tongue.  
>And boy was it important for me to remember.<br>My mind was literally screaming for me to remember, trying everything in its power to recall that simple and short word.

And then suddenly I saw you.  
>Not just like before when I first met you.<br>'The actor' you  
>But as the person you truly were.<br>The person you had been hiding from me.

Your robes told me the truth  
>The light saber on your belt only confirmed it.<br>But what convinced me was your face.  
>Your eyes told me everything in that moment.<p>

You knew who I was,  
>What I was,<p>

You were my most feared enemy  
>You were a Jedi Knight.<p>

**Author Note:**  
>Tell me if you like it so far, and if you've got any good ideas on how the story should continue. Like should she escape him or...?<p>

I also would like to thank: **Onny Nonny  
><strong>for reviewing. The next two chapters are for you.  
>And up so soon as possible! <p>


	6. O, woe is me

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Star Wars. If only...

**Authors note:** I know it's written differently than most stories. It's kind of a letter Valerie writes to Obi-Wan after many years. Tell me if you like it so far, and if you've got any good ideas on how the story should continue. Like should she escape him or...?

**Chapter 06  
><strong>O, woe is me

"Jedi Knight"

_"Jedi Knight"  
><em>You had managed to get me to sleep again.  
>Managed to get me dreaming of my Master.<br>About his teachings about Jedi Knights.  
>He told me their ways, their believes, and how they were just plain wrong in his eyes.<br>He even told me how they operated.  
>Mostly in teams of Two, A Padawan and his Master.<br>If that was true...  
>Than where was your Padawan?<br>And why did you go behind everybody's back to get me?  
>You didn't make sense to me.<br>Not at all.

I remember I asked my Master about what to do if I ever encountered a Knight on my own.  
>He told me that he would take care of it.<br>And if he wasn't there with me,  
>Which he doubted...<br>I was to run!

Boy, was he wrong!  
>And the running part?<br>I couldn't talk, let alone run.  
>He would catch me in no time!<br>I guess I had to sit it out and wait...  
>Until...<br>Until my Master found me.  
>Which I doubted also.<p>

Without the Force I was nothing.  
>I was just a normal human girl.<br>One extremely sick, human girl..

You see, you shouldn't cut a Force user out of the Force.  
>It's absolutely not done.<br>My Master did it once when I was still a kid, I had been unruly , not willing to listen and he punished me by taking the one thing that I truly couldn't be without.  
>The Force.<br>I was sick for 29 days.  
>It would have been more if it was up to him, but apparently we had been needed on a mission.<br>I never questioned his actions again, at least not so stubbornly as before.

The light was far too bright when I woke up.  
>Thank you sun!<br>Later on I found out that instead of one sun,  
>I had two suns to thank.<br>The first thing I noticed was how dry my mouth was,  
>the second thing was the cool sheets on top of me.<br>Was it bed time?

The third thing I noticed was that I didn't feel so awful anymore.  
>Which could only mean one thing, the Force had returned to me.<br>Guess that explained why the drugs didn't have any side effect on me.

The fourth and last thing I noticed:  
>At least you had not tied me to the bed.<br>For that I was grateful  
>Victims in movies are almost always tied to the bed. This made me feel slightly more at ease.<br>And I do mean Slightly!

Ok, so where was I?  
>What had you done with me?<br>And most importantly, where were you?

I slowly moved my head to the side, as carefully as I could.  
>If there was anything I wanted, than it was to prevent drawing attention to myself.<br>At least not before I could assess the situation.  
>Of course that was a stupid thought.<br>You were a Jedi, of course you know if I was awake or not.  
>You were probably already waiting for me in the room.<p>

But when my eyes met the room for the first time ever, you weren't in it.  
>To my horror, the entire house seemed to be in just that one room.<br>I'm not sure what I found more alarming?  
>The fact that you were missing, or the fact that you entire house seemed to be well, VERY SMALL!<br>I could see the kitchen, the living room, and the door which perhaps led to the bathroom.  
>At least that's what I hoped it was.<br>All in one quick glance.  
>If this was how Jedi's lived then I pitied them.<p>

**Authors note:** I know this part was very short, but I was busy today. And I just wanted to get one out for you guys.  
>Tomorrow there will be another part.<br>I know nothing big has happened so far, but soon she'll interact with Obiwan some more.  
>And even his age and more stuff, like his history will become clearer.<br>Just be patient ^_^


	7. Establishing First Contact!

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If only...

**Authors note:** I know it's written differently than most stories. It's kind of a letter Valerie writes to Obi-Wan after many years. Tell me if you like it so far, and if you've got any good ideas on how the story should continue. Like should she escape him or...?

**Chapter 07  
><strong>Establishing First Contact!**  
><strong>_  
><em>Slowly I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. The rough floor feeling cool against my bare feet. Apparently you had undressed me sometime before, for I was missing the boots you gave me, it was the same with the cloak and pants. I found them hanging over a nearby chair.  
>Carefully I tried to stand, unsure of how my muscles would react, but everything went fine.<br>My first few steps however felt a bit unsure, so I quickly had to sit down on one of the nearby chairs.  
>I took my time before I tried again, so in the mean time I once against tried to familiarize me with my surroundings. At first glance the room held an unhealthy creamy white color, and to make matters worse, it was topped off with lots of brown. Clearly this guy had no decorating skills. One thing was sure, the white helped make the house look a bit more spacious.<br>'Please don't let this be the entire house'  
>I slowly moved to a door located at the back of the building, at least I guess it was the back.<br>It lay just behind, what appeared to be the kitchen, which to me was normally located at the back of the house. It opened without making a sound and I indeed found a small bathroom behind it . The room contained a little sonic shower, a washbasin and a toilet. All the basics, more wasn't needed.  
>I started to believed that the entire house was containing just the basics, so much for my giant suite at home. Was I spoiled?<p>

_"I see you're awake"_  
>Your deep voice rang across the room, the suddenness of it making me jump. My heart was nearly inside my throat as I turned and crashed backwards into the bathroom door. A loud bang was heard as my weight pushed the door in its lock again. The silence that followed afterwards felt much too loud, come to think of it, it had been the only sound I had heard so far.<br>It puzzled me, how could that be?

You took a step towards me, and my eyes flashed back to you.  
>You were still wearing the Jedi outfit, only the cloak was gone.<br>Without knowing it I was already scanning you for weapons, did you have any on you?  
>There was no sign of your lightsaber, but that didn't mean you couldn't hurt me.<br>You still could use the Force against me.

My eyes narrowed as I watched you take another step towards me. You instantly stopped and lifted up your arms as a sign that you came in peace. Like I believed you! After what you had done to me.

_"Let me go"_  
>My voice sounded feeble after not using it for so long.<br>Perhaps you smiled sympathetically towards me, or perhaps I just imagined it all. But I thought I saw pity in your eyes for a moment. Instantly I told myself that a person who would kidnap another person could not feel pity.  
>And suddenly I wondered, how could you be a Jedi?<br>Since when did a Jedi behave like this?  
>Normally Jedi were straight forward people. Honest, trustworthy.<br>Somehow you didn't strike me as the type, now why could that be?

What you did was something someone like me could have done. Plucking innocent bystanders from their 'natural habitat' But I was far from innocent wasn't I?  
>And yet, here you were, stuck with little old me.<br>Or was I stuck with you?

At least you had a choice.  
>Where was mine?<p>

_"That's something I cannot allow to happen_"  
>You moved over to the nearest window and stood there for a few minutes without speaking.<br>All this time I stared at you, studied you.  
>You seemed different now, kind of like you were lost in your own little world.<br>Somehow sad.

_"You're probably wondering what happened to your powers"_  
>You didn't look at me as you spoke those words. And quite frankly I was happy you did not. I didn't want to look at you, look into your eyes.<br>The eyes that I had loved.  
>The eyes that had drawn me towards you, made me believe.<br>They felt like a lie now.  
>Their beauty crushed thanks to recent events.<p>

And yet at the same time I was sure that if you looked at me now I would fall for your ticks again.  
>You glanced towards me for a second, probably wondering if I was still there for I had not answered your question.<p>

_"I bound them for the time being. I can't have you using them against me"_  
>Your answer made me cross my arms in defiance.<p>

_"There are other ways to hurt you, you know"_ I spat. _"I don't need my powers"_  
>Seconds later you were at my side, using the force to lift me up from the ground. Before I knew it you had spun me around 180 degrees, and I found myself hanging upside down.<br>What the H...?

Your actions unnerved me, but what struck me even more were your words.  
><em>"Well! I'm waiting."<em> you were daring me, calling me out.  
>You made me mad, made me want to hit you, throw things at you.<br>But I couldn't.  
>You had bound both my arms and legs to my body. I was completely at your mercy, and considering I had no idea what you wanted from me.<br>It was a pretty scary to realize that!

_"There will be a time you won't be looking out, waiting for me to strike. Then I'll be there, and you won't be able to stop me"_  
>Seconds later my body brought down the bathroom door, which wasn't that sturdy to begin with' and I was flung into that room. Like I had weight nothing, a rag doll thrown away by a young girl.<br>The seat of the toilet was lifted by invisible hands and I went facedown into its depts.

So much for establishing first contact!

**Authors note:** So what did you think? Anything just spill it out! Good or bad.  
>Let me hear from you people! ^_^<p> 


	8. Toilets, ye what fun are they

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If only...

Authors note: I know it's written differently than most stories. It's kind of a letter Valerie writes to Obi-Wan after many years. Tell me if you like it so far, and if you've got any good ideas on how the story should continue. Like should she escape him or...?

**Chapter 08  
><strong>**Toilets, ye what fun are they****  
><strong>  
>My hair was still dripping water when I crawled out of the bathroom on hands and knees.<br>I just couldn't believe what you had done. I must have looked pretty stupid, like a stranded guppy on a abandoned beach. Opening its mouth for air.  
>Your rich warm laughter filled the room only seconds later, chasing away the silence that had clung to the walls.<br>It sounded good to me.  
>I glanced towards you through strands of soggy hair, and noticed a sudden change in you. You seemed years younger, more carefree. I didn't know why I hadn't seen it before, but now all that was clear to me. I noticed the tiny lines around your mouth and eyes, laugh wrinkles. Now I knew how they had gotten there. This face seemed more natural to you, far more than the brooding one I had seen on you earlier. The haunted eyes, had become alive, right in front of me. And all this because you made me look ridiculous.<p>

Honestly I hated you from the depths of my soul.  
>You humiliated me, something I hated most.<br>Before I knew it I was searching the room with my eyes, grabbed the first thing I could get my hand on. Which by the way was a dark brown vase. I don't know what it did there, why you had one. You It held no flowers.  
>But I made sure it came to good use.<p>

A loud shattering noise filled the room. Splinters of it flew everywhere, one even managed to cut your face. It silenced you, although I'm not sure it was for the greater good. The fact that I managed to surprise you, seem to shock you. The fact that I managed to hurt you, even though it was just a tiny little scratch, made you aware of my intentions.  
>The fact that I went for another attempt angered you.<br>I saw you coming from a mile off, saw the anger written on your face. You alter told me you reacted that way because you wanted to break me. You wanted to break my attitude, just so you could let me see, make me believe, your real intensions.  
>You scared me in that moment, I was afraid I had pushed you too far. That you might have snapped.<br>That I ran the only way possible, back into the bathroom. You followed me in, closing off the only exit.

_"Damn you!"_ My voice echoed of the walls.  
>Your voice soon joining my own.<p>

_"Damn you girl! Stop being so stubborn."_  
>People say you should not trap a scared animal, or else you might get hurt. Well in that moment I was both. Plus the fact that I really didn't care about your health anymore. The only thing I cared about was getting out!<br>I noticed too late that you were trying to corner me. Which wasn't all that hard considering the size of your bathroom. I saw you take the leap, the sudden change in your eyes as you made the decision. As soon as I felt your strong hands on my bare arms I panicked.  
>Even though the warmth of them felt soothing and nice I didn't want any part of you touching me!<em><br>_  
>A struggle was what followed.<br>Your strong arms trying to trap me, and me trying to wiggle my body out of your grasp.  
>I clawed at you, while you tried to take control of my limbs. You were strong, I couldn't have even taken you out if I had use off the Force. You on the other hand were not even using the it. I could only imagine how strong you really were.<br>It made me wonder how strong my Master really had been. If I could have really beaten him in a fight to the death. I think he kept me dumb, kept me believing I was good.  
>Kept me from what was destined to be mine.<p>

But then again I had assist him on many a mission. Beaten a lot of enemies. I wasn't weak, I couldn't be. Perhaps you were just far more advanced. Should I have been honored that you stole me, and not some other weak Jedi Knight?

A hand grabbed my wrist, making me twirl round. For a moment you lost your grip on me, bending over you tried to take hold of me again. Arms mowing through the air, catching nothing but wind. The sudden feeling of your warm breath on my skin gave me goose bumps and caused me to panic.  
>My knee gave a funny twitch, even more when I felt it connect with something. A muffled groan slipped past your lips which was tightly pressed together. However you did manage to grab hold of me again, this time feeling even more determent.<br>I fought you, kicked, hit and bit you, but minutes later I felt my arm getting twisted painfully behind my back. The game was up, I knew that. One wrong move from my side and you should dislocate my shoulder. A painful experience.  
>Eventually it was your power and how much you hurt me, that got me down on my knees.<br>Seconds later I lay flat on my stomach, your knee putting pressure on my lower back.

The floor felt rough against my cheek, its cold quickly seeping through my clothing, chilling me to the bone. I felt humiliated in the moment.  
>Sadly, I would feel even worse in just mere minutes from now<p>

..._  
>You pushed my head down and flushe<em>d.  
>...<p> 


	9. Fuzz

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If only...

**Chapter 09  
>Fuzz<strong>

The next few days you stayed out of my way and I stayed out of yours. And I especially stayed away from any kind of lavatory whenever you were near. I was going to make sure you didn't get me a third time. To be honest the only time I saw you was when you were making dinner for the two of us, or during bed time. Which to my complete horror I had to spend in the same room as you, seeing as the entire house consisted out of just the one room.  
>Except of the bathroom of course, and I was going anywhere near that place, while you were in the house.<br>So that was out of the question.

I had to spend my favorite time of day with the likes of you!  
>Which was night time.<br>And to make matters worse, I wasn´t sleeping! No, how could I sleep when the guy that kidnapped me was in the same room. I did everything to prevent myself from falling asleep.

Well... as much as I could while laying still.  
>I couldn´t just get up and put the kettle on for some coffee, that would wake you up.<br>And I certainly wouldn´t want that, draw more attention to me than truly necessary.  
>Sometimes I even had the feeling that you waited for me to fall asleep, why I don't know?<br>I could hear your breathing, swore I could hear your thoughts willing me to just give in to the sleep.  
>But I wouldn't let that happen.<br>With my eyes closed I was completely at your mercy.  
>And then what would you do to me, I couldn't help but shiver and pull the covers tight around me.<p>

Tonight was a night just like that.  
>I believe it was day 4, thought I wasn´t too sure. It all depended on how long I had been out the day you brought me. Perhaps it had been 2 hours, but I didn´t rule out that 2 weeks was also a possibility.<p>

You had come in late tonight, had barely taken a glimpse of me, before pulling the covers over yourself and turning out the lights. So much for a fare warning. So there I was, in the furthest corner of the room. A thin uncomfortable straw mat beneath me, and a crocheted quilt to cover me from the cold, that simply seemed to creep through every tiny crack in the house.  
>And there seemed to be a lot of them, for it got freaking cold during the middle of the night.<br>So there I sat, shaking like a dumb ignorant child.  
>So much for being a brave warrior. I hated myself for that.<br>I had become a sniveling young brat, a cowering fool.  
>And on top of that I was freezing my ass off each night!<p>

To be honest you did scare the shit out of me.  
>Not only the fact that you were so powerful, while I was unable to use the Force, but also the fact that your emotions were all over the place. Some days you could wake up and be all kind hearted and warm towards me. While on other days you would leave without even speaking to me, brooding over something.<br>Whenever you got like this I could observe you without you noticing me doing so.  
>You seemed so distant to me in those moments.<br>Where did your thoughts go to during those times?  
>I wish I knew...<br>And then of course there were those times when you could just snap without any reason.  
>Like when anger consumed you...<br>In those moments I felt closer to you than ever before.  
>For I finally saw you 'alive'<br>Your eyes were filled with so much raw emotion, in that moment, that it even managed to reach my cold heart.  
>You sparked my interest in those moments, for it finally made me see a man that wasn't in control of everything. No, I saw a true human being, one that wasn't in control of his emotions all the time.<br>A man that could feel, one with a heart, one that had probably seen too much pain during the days he had been on this Earth.  
>Someone who was haunted by his past...<p>

It was like you knew, I knew, for you disappeared from my side as quick as you could during those times, leaving me alone for the rest of the day, only to return late at night.  
>God only knew where you went during those times...<p>

I wondered though, but I was also glad you were out of my way.  
>I was the only time I was totally comfortable, could be me. I could walk around your house freely, to investigate. Not that there was much to find. The house was small, and you clearly had locked away any sharp items around the house.<p>

Perhaps you thought I was suicidal? I don't know, but it sure as hell kept you from getting hurt by me.  
>Of course there were still some frying pans I could hit you over the head with, but I sincerely thought that wouldn't have the effected I hoped it would have.<br>Lets just say that after a few days I got bored inside and was ready to see just where you had brought me to.

I had to know before I would escape..  
>Give it a try I would!<br>I just had to see how far I could come before you brought me back.  
>I had to see how heavily you were guarding me.<br>If I stood a chance, before even considering to give up.  
>And I was close to giving up...<p>

The only question that still made me feel uncomfortable was that I had no idea where you had taken me. I had asked you a couple of times of our whereabouts, but had always given me answers which seemed to avoid my question.

_"It's a beautiful isolated place"_

or

_"You shouldn't go out there are Raiders everywhere"_

And my favorite

_"This land speaks to me"_

Well, I'd never heard of land speaking to you, so I figured you were nuts.  
>In the end I stopped asking all together.<br>Best to get out there and see for myself.

During the night I occupied myself with either counting the many holes in the walls, watching you sleep or trying to come up with as many swear words as possible.  
>I had come up with a fair amount.<br>But they only kept me entertained for so long.  
>And in the end I lost the battle and still managed to catch some ZzzZZ<p>

When morning came on the, what I thought, was the fifth day, I was roughly awoken by a jar falling to piece on the floor.

_"Ah, how graceful of you to join us with your presence" _  
>You were in one of yours moods again, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from replying.<br>It occurred to me that perhaps this was going to be the day, the day I was going to try and make a run for it. So I bit my tongue till I tasted blood and looked away from you, giving you the cheek.  
>So that you wouldn't see my plan reflected inside my eyes.<p>

You threw a plate of disgusting looking food my way, before locking yourself in the bathroom. From which you immersed only a few minutes later, only to head out the door.

_"Why don't you clean yourself up today, you look like a mess"  
><em>I rolled my eyes, while tying to restrain myself from throwing the food after you._  
>"Keeps you from getting into trouble."<br>_And then you were out the door but not before making my heart miss a beat.

Did you know?!


	10. To make a Run for it or not

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If only...

Authors note: finally after i'm guessing for more then a year a new part up, that is if you don't count the one from yesterday.  
>I don't know how frequently I'm going to update but just bare with me, i'm writting when I want and have fun during it...<br>I don't want to be at it 24/7. ^_^ Got any comments? Then please review. I'm also currently busy rewritting My Bad Boy...

Don't know when it'll be finished I just want it to be good, not like before, all messy and stuff. I read some of the stuff back and was like HUH!  
>Hahahah lol, I didn't even understand what I had meant to say during its first chapter.<p>

**Chapter 10  
>Making a run for it, or not <strong>

I waited for a good 30 minutes before I finally dared to take a peek outside. I was afraid you would be waiting for me as soon as I stepped out the door, but when I did you were nowhere in sight. Apparently you hadn't foreseen my plans. Ok, perhaps 'plans' is a too big a word for it but I was defiantly trying something. In other words I was going to take my chances.  
>Can't win if you never try, ey?<p>

When that fact finally had sunken in I knew what I had to do, though I was greeted by one of the most challenging landscapes I had ever seen. In front of me, large dunes of sand laid spread out, they reached as far as the eye could see, probably even further. It was a desert, or as I liked to call it; one large dickey for the cat. The only difference, its immense heat. I had only been outside for 2 minutes and already I could feel my shirt starting to cling to my back.  
>I could only imagine how an hour of this 'fun' would make me feel.<p>

Nevertheless I didn't let that sight put me down. At least not so much. I was shaken of course, not expecting something like this. But it couldn't be as worse as this on the other side of the house, now couldn't it?  
>Right?!<p>

No, what put a dumper on the whole escaping thing was the fact that the landscape behind me didn't provide me with anything better. But instead of sand there were rocks, and lots and lots of canyons, that wound their way criss-cross through the landscape. It was one giant canyon of red colored rocks. It was one large wasteland, not a single soul was insight, not even you?  
>Now where could you be hiding in a place like this? Where would you go? Where would you even want to go!<p>

And then I saw you. No, I sensed you. You were sitting on one of the larger red boulders , and by the looks of it you were meditating. You were out of your Jedi robes, and instead you were wearing a set of white once. A hood mostly covered your face, though I knew that as soon as I stepped outside your eyes had opened and had fixed themselves upon me. How I knew?  
>My skin was tingling all over.<p>

So much for a quiet escape which would go unnoticed, I thought. In those seconds our eyes met, I was sure you could read my mind. In a minute you would stand up and walk my way, trying to prevent me from escaping. But you didn't, you just sat there staring down at me. Like you didn't really see me, but someone else. Someone from long ago.

Well if you weren't going to come to me, I wasn't planning on sticking around any longer either.  
>The hell with this place!<p>

So I ran straight into the place I had the worst possible chance of surviving in. The sand dunes.  
>I ran straight up the nearest dune, my calves already protesting as I heaved myself to the top of it. I totally had overestimated the looseness of the sand. This was going to take me forever, and the amount of energy it would cost me, it would kill me eventually . That is if the sun didn't roast me first.<p>

This was Tatooine alright.  
>One giant planet filled with sand, whatever did you see in this place?! I couldn't being to comprehend. I hadn't been here that often, just once with my Sith Master and we only stayed briefly. I just couldn't find a reason why people would stay here willingly, there was nothing, which eventually would drive any person insane. From what I'd seen before, all the slaves wanted to get out of this place. The only ones who stayed willingly were hiding, running away from something.<br>Which one were you? The running or the hiding one?  
>Or perhaps both.<br>I concluded that you didn't make any sense to me. Not from what my Master taught me about Jedi's.

But as I glanced backwards, and spotted you standing there upon the rock, looking at me, it gave me renewed strength and hope. What confused me though, was that you were not following me. You probably knew I would not stand a chance against the harshness of the desert. You didn't need to follow, I would come back on my own.

Well then you didn't know me! The thought alone refilled me with new energy.

My feet sunk deep into the loss sand as I started my descent from the dune. Instantly filling my shoes with more of its tiny grains. I didn't hurry, I just kept still for a few moments before taking my next move. I didn't want to trip and get all the sand to follow me down, only to bury me a few seconds later. That would be a huge mistake. If only I still could have used the Force, this would have been a lot easier.  
>When I had reached the top of the second dune, I once again turned to glance behind me. It appeared you were now slowly starting your own descent, and were coming straight for me. Hope sprang inside my chest that I might did have a chance to escape you, if you saw fit to do something to prevent me from walking out on you. Anyway, it was time to throw caution to the wind and make a run for it.<p>

I don't really remember much of anything, only that my muscles and lungs never had burned so bad as during that day. Later on you told me that even after my body had given up, my stubbornness and determination had kept me going for at least a little while longer. I had earned some of your respect during that moment, though I'm pretty sure I couldn't possibly sink any lower.

Even with the use of the Force the landscape was hard to tackle, though you were an expert on this terrain. It didn't take long for you to close the distance between us. And so we found ourselves on top of a dune completely isolated from civilization. With only a few meters between us I noticed how much effect this climate was having on you. And for a moment I thought I had a chance of getting away from you.

_"Don't be so daft Valerie. Where would you go?"_ Ben's voice, breaking the silence, sounded strange, and alien to me. I followed his hands as they motioned to our surroundings, pointing out to me what I already knew. There was nothing, no where I could run. But I couldn't admit that could I, admitting I was failing. Failing was out of the question, my Master always had told me.  
><em>"You'll die out there"<em>

_"Like you care. All you've done is kidnap, humiliate and abandon me here on this stinking planet. I never asked to be brought here."_ I half yelled, not able to hide my emotions anymore. Sure my Sith Master wasn't that great but at least I knew what I could expect from him. I crossed my arms as I took a step backwards away from you. _"You don't care about me at all"_

For a moment you looked at me as if I had done something out of the ordinary. I later realized that my display of emotions was what had caused that look. I wasn't perfect like my Sith Master always told me, emotions ruled me too much. _"You remind me so much of him"_

I felt my brows knit together, as I took in the words you had just spoken. Ok, perhaps 'spoken' was a too big a word for your lips had barely moved. They had been but a mere whisper, yet carried by the wind, they had managed to reach me.  
>They raised even more questions, but I kept myself from asking you. It just didn't feel right in that moment. It was at the same time that I notice a certain change in you, in front of me no longer stood a confident and quiet person.<br>Someone else had taken his place, a broken man perhaps? No, but scarred yes. I saw it in your eyes.

I blinked again not sure I wasn't seeing things because of the heat. And just like that it was gone.  
>"<em>So uncivilized...<em>" I heard you mutter.

_"Shut up!"_

"Listen girl, what are you going to do? I'm your only way out. This desert will kill you, and if it doesn't its inhabitants will"

you took a few seconds so you're words could sink inbefore you continued_ "But __you must do what you feel is right, of course._"  
>My eyes darted from him, to his out stretched hand and behind him, were a vast desert lay.<p>

In my heart I knew he was right. I wasn't stupid, just stubborn. A lot. And as I felt my defenses crumble and I swallowed my pride once more, three words rolled from my lips.  
><em>"Tell me why"<em> I didn't know if you understood that I was asking you for the reason why you brought me here, but you seen to..._"I did what I had to do"_ you answered . _"Now come back with me, and let me explain."  
><em>


	11. No more fighting

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If only...

Authors note: Hey there readers, I'm back with a new chapter. I actually enjoy writting at the moment, so I can already say there will also be a new chapter up tomorrow. I'm still working on the chapter for the day after that, but I'm pretty sure I can make something out of it, so you have something nice to enjoy.

I recently recieved a review of: Sui, thank you for that it made my day ^_^ It said: I really like this story, it is so interesting and original. Please update soon!  
>I'd like to comment on that: I glad you like my story, though I have to admit that I took the idea from a book called: Stolen, by Lucy Christopher. But along the way I'm turning it in my own story. You guys should try it, Stolen is a real great book<p>

OH, and not to spoil the end all that much, it got me depressed!~SNIK *silently cries* WHY!  
>stolen Here's the link go check it out and enjoy the next chapter!<p>

**Chapter 11  
>No more fighting<br>**Read the authors note please :) Normally I put crap in it I know but not now. Please review ^_^

I gave up, I knew you spoke the truth.  
>I didn't really know if you were truly going to answer my questions when we got back, but I knew that I wasn't ready to die yet.<p>

It hurt giving up..

You carried me back when I couldn't go any further. That was, when my body had shut itself down without consulting me first. -.-  
>You know what is so great about that?<br>NOTHING!  
>You just have completely no say in it, what so ever!<br>How it feels to be betrayed by yourself, I can't describe it...

Our little trip into the desert had cost me, but after a warm and hearty meal, which you cooked, things got a bit better. I got some of my strength back as I gobbled it all down.  
>By the way, next time I'll cook!<br>Your Zucca fruit pastry, tasted better than your Womp rat stew, but in the end my stomach still complained. Causing me almost to lose my lunch.  
>Almost.<p>

I watched carefully as you moved your ass over to the sink and began cleaning the plates.  
>Totally lost in your job I felt that this had to be it, the last show down.<br>Before I knew what my mind had come up with, I jumped out of my seat, and onto your back.  
>Or that's what I planned of doing, a millisecond before I could grab you, you spun around, managed to grab my arm and after a wrestling match of two seconds I was pinned down against the floor. My arm twisted painfully behind my back, and your knee digging into my lower back, hurting me.<p>

_"When will you learn to control your anger.  
><em>_You can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting."_  
>Your voice was soft, but meaningful. It made me stop fighting you, even caused me to look over my shoulder. A tiny smile lingered on your lips, causing my shields to come down and to relax my body.<br>_"That's my girl"_  
>You held me for a little while longer, just to make sure I wouldn't try anything else, before letting go of me all together.<p>

Slowly I rolled over, careful not to make any sudden moves. I didn't want to set you off again, I was tired of fighting you. Losing to you...  
>Perhaps something inside of me finally cracked.<br>The desert had definably taking its toll of me. I slowly realized I wouldn't be having trouble sleeping tonight, not even if you were laying right beside me.  
>I was dead tired.<p>

*****  
>We came face to face...<br>I wasn't ready for what I saw though...  
>The pain, I saw written on your face so clearly.<br>Your eyes were screaming out to me, asking me for help.  
>I was drawn in by what I saw in them, the emotions swirling just below the surface.<br>It was like I could finally read you all together, and yet you still felt like a complete mystery to me.  
>Your breath came out ragged and shallow, like you were fighting demons I couldn't see.<br>Demons in your mind.

I wished for you to let me in.

Cold was seeping through my clothing, but I was far from being cold, as you were still crouched over me. Your body, mere inches away from my own, was preventing me from getting cold.  
>You puzzled me, dazzled me for a moment, my soul suddenly crying out to you. Wanting to know everything about you. How could I accept you, how could I accept being held capture by you, if I had no idea who you were.<p>

_"Open up to me?"_ I whispered,  
>while slowly carefully reaching out towards you without knowing it. Something stirred inside me, something I wasn't familiar with. I felt sad, why was that? Was I hurting for you?<br>I realized, I wanted so bad for you to open up to me.  
>The you were honest with me...<p>

My fingers were about to brush your cheek, when you suddenly seemed to come to your senses and pulled back. Leaving me lying there alone, on the kitchen floor. The suddenness of it all made me feel yet again how tired I was, how much 'the ordeal' of this morning had tired me out.  
>I already could feel the darkness over taking me, pulling me into its depths.<p>

And just before my eyes closed I heard you speak the words that would haunt my dreams that night.  
><em>"So similar yet so different"<em>

Morning came just like yesterday, too early. I still found myself on the kitchen floor and yesterdays ordeal left me smelling like a old gym bag. You were already up, making some kind of breakfast, carefully avoiding me, by stepping around me.  
><em><br>"Why don't you take a shower before breakfast_" you spoke, all the while keeping your eyes on the food you were cooking. I involuntarily shuddered, not willing to find out what was in the frying pan you were stirring. If it was anything like last time...

_"You stink"_  
>A towel landed on my head, causing my hair to stand on end. Growling I reached up and grabbed it ready to throw it at you. But you were already facing me, a smirk on your face. I silently cursed you, you was enjoying this way too much in my opinion.<br>But I wouldn't give you the satisfaction.  
>So instead of raising my fist in battle against you, I turned around and headed for the shower.<br>Angry as I was I still heard your words...

_"You're finally starting to learn"_  
>What you meant by those words I learned way later.<p>

******  
>I sighed with delight, as I stepped out of the shower. Feeling more relaxed and refreshed than before. Whatever today would bring I was up to it.<br>I found some new robes on the closed toilet seat and decided to put them on. My old clothes were gone anyway. Probably to be burned by you, for I never saw them again.

The sight of myself in Jedi robes still made me feel queasy. It was just not natural to put a Sith apprentice through this. The grey tunic, pants and robes, with the addition of a leather utility belt and boots, felt alien to me. I couldn't help but feel insecure as I looked in the mirror.  
>A feeling which was also uncommon to me. Making me feel all jumbled and twisted inside.<p>

I was still wrestling with the belt as I exited the bathroom, only to be greeted by you. You came out of nowhere, taking the belt from my hands, while stepping close to me.  
>Correction, entering my private space.<br>An uncontrollable shiver ran through my body, as you bend down over me and clicked the belt shut before I could take a step away from you.  
>A strange smell entered my nostrils, the same scent I smelt when I met you for the first time. Sand, sweat, sunlight, a deadly combination.<br>Taking advantage of my confused state you bend down even further, until you were close to my left ear.

_"Now stand real still"_  
>The heat of your breath upon my skin, send another shiver through my body, immobilizing me, cutting my thoughts off from my body.<br>A sharp snapping reached my ears, but it took me a few minutes to realize what was happening.  
>Something brushed my neck, then something else and another something.<p>

By the time my mind was reconnected to my body it was too late.  
>In the mean time you had cut off all my hair, until it was about 2 inches long.<br>As I glanced down towards the ground, I found all my precious hair pooled around my feet.  
>All except one lock of hair, which was still being hold by you.<br>I think you felt my anger in that moment, but you chose to ignore it.  
>You simply gave a short pull at the only long lock of hair left, which caused my head to bend slightly, and to forget my anger for a second.<br>You took that moment to dip your head close to mine, while at the same time seizing my head between both your hands, holding it tightly there.

The last thing I remembered were your blue eyes staring deep into my own, and the words that came with it...  
><em>"I want it to be cut just like this for as long as you'll be with me, all except this lock, which you will wear in a braid."<em>


	12. People change

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. If only...

Authors note: No not today!

**Chapter 12  
><em>"People change" <em>**

A few days later...

I found myself face down in the dirt, building character, as you'd like to call it.  
>The suns heat was beating down upon my bare neck, I knew it would be burning later that evening, or probably worse, blister. Tiny beads of sweat made its way down between my shoulder blades, tickling me as they went.<br>Drenching the shirt you had given me.

It smelled of you, of salt/desert sand/heat.  
>It caused my brain to wander to you every now and then.<br>When ever I had managed to get you out of my mind, it would only take one whiff of it, and you were back in. Tormenting me in ways I did not understand.  
>Oh the joys of inter struggle!<br>_  
><em>While in front of my face my newly required braid, constantly was sweeping across my cheek, irritating me to no end. It constantly reminded me of the newly acquired haircut, you so selfishly gave me.  
>Thanks for considering my feelings in all this ***hole!<p>

I felt lost, no longer knowing who I was.  
>The girl that looked back at me in the mirror, was not the girl I knew.<br>If I wasn't her, now who was I?  
>Who would I see when I would look again tomorrow?<br>It made me wonder...  
>Who did you wanted me to be?<p>

_"Again" _you yelled, telling me to do another 20 pushups. While all the while you were lounging about on a nearby rock. Glazing ever so often towards me, to see if I was still following your ever command.  
>Your blue eyes burning my skin, each time they were fixed on me. Your voice spurring me on, mocking me if I wasn't giving it my all.<p>

I hated when you did that, mock me.  
>You made me feel useless and insecure.<br>These were all feelings which I hadn't felt in years and they confused me considerably.  
>I thought they had died in me long again, but hey hello, here they were again!<br>I wasn't sure in that moment if I should be happy realizing all of that.  
>I was confused and slightly baffled that I was still capable of such flaws 'emotions'<br>But I was also happy with the fact that I finally felt something else.  
>I was becoming more alive...<p>

"Where is your brain today?!" you mused while getting up and crouching down next to me.  
>Somehow you made me feel nervous, and for a moment I reminded back to the time when I felt myself buried underneath you, on that cold kitchen floor. You were so close to me, also as close as you were now.<br>But now you weren't the broken man I had seen before, now you were being positive, witty and a real pain in the ass (in a good way)

Boy you were a mess!  
>But were you a bigger mess than me?<br>I wasn't sure

I had to bite my lip, as I felt the sharpness of the rocks below my hands, slowly cutting through the tender flesh off my hand palms, to keep from crying out.  
>I wasn't about to let you see me hurting, or giving up.<br>I may had lost a lot in those past few weeks, but I still liked to consider that I was still in control of my body and my pride.

So I went for another push up, while fighting against the pain...

You kept pushing me alright  
>I didn't know the reason why though, why you kept pushing me.<br>Perhaps you just wanted me to do something, instead of lying around the house all day.  
>Something which kept me for getting into trouble.<br>All I knew was that I was bushed by the end of the day.

Remember those sleeping problems I had before?  
>You know, not daring to sleep in the same room as you, because I didn't trust you?<br>Well, let's just say that those problems belonged to the past.  
>I was sound asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.<p>

I still did not trust you though.  
>You seemed to be all over the place from time to time.<br>One minute I felt welcome, perhaps even save.  
>You surprised me a lot in the beginning by being so nice, calm and wise.<br>Especially during training, or sometimes during small talk.

Whenever I voiced something in my bizarre point of view, it was you who took it all in, and even comment on it, without criticizing

For example:  
>I think it was the morning of my fourteenth day with you, or perhaps sixteenth or seventeenth, I'm not so sure anymore. They days started the blur, the longer I stayed with you. Anyway, we had been discussing random thing. You wanted to find out how I thought about certain stuff, and even how I would voice that opinion.<p>

During dinner you suddenly placed a glass in front of me and asked me;  
><em>"Is this glass half empty or half full?"<br>_I remember my eyes resting on the glass, trying to find out my thoughts on something so irrelevant, before finally looking into your eyes.

_"It all depends on how you look at it.  
>I would find it half empty, if I had just drank one half of its content and was still very thirsty.<br>In which case, I already knew that in drinking what was left of it, wouldn't help much in clenching my thirst_

And I would find it half full, if it was filled with some vile liquid, and someone would make me drink the content against my will.

"  
>I guess my answer took you by surprise, for you didn't speak again for a very long time.<br>When you did I felt you were honest with me, which I respected. You might not have agreed with me in that moment, but you didn't burn me down to the ground like my Master.

_"You have a very interesting way of putting things"_  
>was all you replied.<p>

When I later questioned you about it, as in why you asked me such 'meaningless questions'  
>You told me you wanted me to make up my own mind. Form my own opinions.<br>When I in return told you about the ways my Master taught me, in that there was only one right answer, instead of two. You simply looked at me and told me that;  
><em>"Only a Sith dealt in absolutes"<br>_  
>But I was a Sith or wasn't I?<br>I couldn't begin to phantom the meaning of his words without doubting slightly. So I just stayed quiet, and set myself outside on one of the many rocks. Just to think things over. In the end I could see your point, I understood you, but that didn't mean it took the confusion away.

I told you this later that day, only to find you smiling at me.  
><em>"People change" <em>  
>And with that you walked away.<br>Being that you had told me enough.


End file.
